The Early Years
Saurons Sweets was founded in 2842 by an elf named Chuck who was vacationing in Mordor. He noticed that Mordor was a pretty dismal place compared to his home in Rivendell, and he thought that he could "sweeten" the mood by opening a candy company (this occured about three months after he was released from the Dol Guldur Mental Institution). After three years of construction, bribes, and copyright infringements, Sauron's Sweets was finally open for business. The factory was originally built near the Tower of Barad-Dur, but because Chuck couldn't pay the rent, it was moved to the side of Orodruin (Mount Doom). The first product released was Precious Delights.
Pushing Forward
In 2890, Sauron's Sweets finally had our first customer. He was a lost orc who apparently had taken a wrong turn at Cirith Ungol. Technically, the orc wasn't a customer, because he ate an employee and stole off with half of our merchandise, but we still considered it an accomplishment.
That experience inspired us to create a new product: human body parts! They're shipped in fresh from up north every day to ensure maximum quality. Currently, they are our most popular product (considering the fact that most of our customers are orcs).
That experience inspired us to create a new product: human body parts! They're shipped in fresh from up north every day to ensure maximum quality. Currently, they are our most popular product (considering the fact that most of our customers are orcs).
Birth of the Fudgie
After Chuck died of a heart attack in 2898, the company took a serious downturn. Workers began to go on strike for better working conditions and life
insurance (most of them had already died from heat exhaustion or being chopped in two by disgruntled orc customers). Things started to get ugly when twelve employees dumped a giant vat of chocolate into the fires of Mount Doom (and subsequently fell in themselves), which made the health inspector go nuts. In danger of closing, the manager realized that they needed to create a new product that would satisfy both customers and workers alike and bring in more revenue. Thus the Fudgie was born: a 1-lb. block of pure fudge. Sales skyrocketed and employees started actually liking their job after we gave them 5-minute breaks after every shift.
insurance (most of them had already died from heat exhaustion or being chopped in two by disgruntled orc customers). Things started to get ugly when twelve employees dumped a giant vat of chocolate into the fires of Mount Doom (and subsequently fell in themselves), which made the health inspector go nuts. In danger of closing, the manager realized that they needed to create a new product that would satisfy both customers and workers alike and bring in more revenue. Thus the Fudgie was born: a 1-lb. block of pure fudge. Sales skyrocketed and employees started actually liking their job after we gave them 5-minute breaks after every shift.
Doom and Destruction
In 3018, our factory was unceremoniously destroyed in a flood a lava. Appartently, some stupid hobbit had to go and save the world from the
clutches of the Dark Lord. This involved casting a ring into the fires of Mount Doom and causing the mountain to blow up. I mean, we appreciate the fact that he saved the world and everything, but we still wish that he could at least do it without destroying our company.
clutches of the Dark Lord. This involved casting a ring into the fires of Mount Doom and causing the mountain to blow up. I mean, we appreciate the fact that he saved the world and everything, but we still wish that he could at least do it without destroying our company.